Dating Advice for Women
Before Your Online Date- Preparing
This dating advice for women – grown-ups who are past the heady infatuations of adolescence – concerns getting ready for a date with someone they met online. Blind dates can and have led to satisfying relationships, and, of course, they have also led to many ‘worst experiences of my life’ evenings.
Meeting someone online is just the modern version of the blind date, and the same rules hold true for this new twist in the mating game.
Meeting someone who you known only over the Internet can be at least as exciting and nerve wracking as any other date. You will have had a chance to get to know the other person a little and hopefully have found enough common ground that you can look forward to actually getting to see the whole picture.
Don’t waste that online preliminary time. You must decide what you are hoping for before you schedule this date. Are you looking for a simple diversion that might or might not lead to something more? If so, the few basics you have found out while chatting might be sufficient preparation.
Things like age, height, education, and interests all answer some important questions. Is the man of appropriate age? Is he unmarried, divorced, on the rebound from a relationship, or just lonely? Is he interested in meeting you for the same relaxed reasons, for a casual get-to-know-you hour or two?
If you are looking for a serious relationship and are not interested in playing the field, you may want to look a little more before you leap. If you are thinking marriage and kids, you might not be interested in the guy you’ve met at a singles’ site that caters to swingers. In fact, you should avoid such sites as a waste of time and energy. When you chat, talk about what is important to you and find out what is important to him. If all his money goes to his red Stingray, he may not want three kids and a college fund. You can set these criteria ahead of time with the dating service, which will screen candidates for you.
There are some other considerations that you should ponder before you head out the door. What setting would be best for this first meeting? A casual lunch at a busy cafe will give you a chance to meet the guy and find out more about him in the clear light of day. A romantic evening with candlelight and wine might pitchfork you into intimacy that you have not yet decided you want.
What mode of dress will be most suitable? You will want to look your best but not necessarily so devastatingly beautiful that the poor man might fall in love while you are mentally checking him off the possibles list. Becoming but modest clothes might be best for the first meeting, no matter what time of day it takes place. If you are athletic, wear fashion jeans. If you are ultra-feminine, go for the ruffles. Dress in away that gives a true picture of who you really are.
It is also good – for you – to determine the bottom line before you start, especially if you are hoping for a future with a steady beau. A friend, after falling for a few guys who could offer charming companionship and not much more, finally decided that if a new acquaintance did not have a job and health insurance, she was not going to allow herself to pursue the friendship. Do not demand less of the man than you do of yourself and you will probably end up with an equal.
You should also set the limits of intimacy before you start. You may want to meet on neutral ground rather than at your home. You may want to join a group rather than be alone. This is not hard – let him know that you will be in a certain place with a group from your work and suggest he stop by. You do not have to be imposed on in any way when agreeing to meet someone. It is only fair to yourself and the other party to know what your preferences are and to decide in advance what your standards will be.
Finally, do not expect too much for the first date. After all, you know nothing about this man for all practical purposes. Even if the encounter does not lead to further dates, it will still be a chance to get to know someone in pleasant surroundings. So what if you write him off at first sight or after half an hour of conversation? Have the courtesy to make the time you spend together comfortable for both of you, and hope that he will return the favor if you have not engaged his interest. Anyway, he may have friends that will suit you better.
The dating process can be fun and can also be disappointing, but one thing is sure. If you are meeting the man of your dreams, your automatic pilot will take over and you will be just fine. The same thing will be happening to him, since that’s the way chemistry works, and all your previous precautions will just make things better.
All this dating advice for women boils down to is: take as much care preparing yourself mentally and spiritually for a date with an online acquaintance as you do fixing your hair, and then go out and have a good time.
