Advice for Dating
Advice For Dating Preparing For A Date
Advice for dating: Approaching people for a first date- The thing about advice with regard to dating is you do not have to follow it, and what works for some people may not necessarily work for others. However there are certain basic guidelines that can be followed that can help achieve the best results.
There are a lot of cliches in this area, about kissing toads before you find a prince and so forth. It is important though not to try and assign blame, either to the person you dated or to yourself.
Punctuality and presentation are of the utmost importance- while you may not need to wear a tuxedo or a ball gown to impress your date, it is still a good idea to look neat and presentable. Make sure your hair looks good, your teeth are clean and your clothes look neat. Even if you are meeting at a cafe for a casual coffee, it is probably best to still be reasonably smart. If in doubt, it is better to overdress than under dress.
If you are a man, it is best to make the first move. While times have changed since the 20th century, it is still seen as the responsibility of a man to make the first move. To complicate matters, men are also often worse at reading signals and therefore will be more nervous of taking the risk and being the first one to call.
While this may seem a bit over the top if you are ready when your date turns up you are less likely to be flustered. It also gives you a chance to consider what to talk about. It is also a good idea to have a look at the menu- it is advisable to avoid foods such as spaghetti that are messy to eat and stain clothes. It may have looked cute in Lady And The Tramp, but the fact is neither you nor your date are a cartoon dog.
Another good option are evening or dance classes. As well as getting to meet more people, this will help give you more social experiences and so more to talk about when you eventually do go on a date. A good confidence booster are amateur theater or singing groups, as they can help ease anxiety about performance in public.
Sporting activities and keeping fit can help maintain a good body and allow for more social interaction. Some people are intimidated by gyms, but they are one of several options- martial arts like karate provide a good all round workout, and people come from different ages and backgrounds, giving you more to talk about!
Perhaps more surprising is late night shopping in supermarkets. It is a good idea to have a trolley with you as this will make mobility a lot easier. The best way to start a discussion is in areas like the wine aisle. For example, you could be having a dinner party and wondering what the best wine you could use to serve with fish (to be honest even if you do know this it might be a good start!)
Should your search continue to be unsuccessful, do not panic. Try to think of alternatives that you have not tried. If you have always wanted to try a new hobby, then do so. Activities like amateur theater and singing can help boost confidence and remove a barrier of shyness. Remember- the more you get out there, the more likely you are to succeed.
Try not to think in terms of chat/pick up lines (eg You must be tired, because you have been running through my mind all day.) People often use the term approach scenarios. For example, if you are in an art gallery, talk about the paintings. Indeed, it is good preparation to read up on these things. Talk enough, but not so much that you alienate people.
When talking, match the persons mood as much as possible. For example, you can get away with more cheeky or flirty comments if you are in a bar than in the aforementioned art gallery!
